What To Wear: To Keep Your Pregnancy A Secret Until You’re Ready To Share

Q. Jordan!

My husband and I just found out we are pregnant, but are waiting to tell everyone until the 3-month mark, due to health concerns and for our sanity’s sake.

In comes the dilemma: I’m a petite girl, and can’t quite figure out how to conceal a bump through the spring and early summer. Throw a girl some ideas!

- Jennifer*

(Above, Vicky B. uses the old wear-black-and-carry-a-big-bag trick.)

A. Congratulations!!!

OK, here’s the thing with pregnancy concealment: some people are going to figure it out immediately, no matter how hard you try to hide it, because there are just so many “tells” in early pregnancy. My plan was to keep the fact that we were expecting to ourselves for at least a couple of months, but the second that I went out to dinner with anyone and turned down a glass of wine, whomever I was dining with immediately screeched “You’re pregnant!” (Can you tell how often I turn down glasses of wine?)

Your best friends and closest family members may notice that you’re wearing slightly more relaxed clothing, or drinking ginger ale instead of Pepsi, or looking a little green around the gills…or may just feel like there’s something “different” about you. So my first piece of advice is to have a plan of action for when people start guessing: it’s totally your prerogative to tell little white lies or practice mini-deceptions to keep your secret (adding limes to your soda water to make it look like a cocktail, pleading the flu rather than morning sickness, etc.), but being ready for the questions will save you from getting flustered and give you the opportunity to break the news your way.

So. While I ultimately decided to just tell my family and close friends more or less immediately, mostly because I am incapable of keeping a secret, I wanted to wait to announce my pregnancy on my site because I knew that if anything went wrong it wasn’t something I would likely want to talk about right away.

And you may have noticed that I occasionally post the odd picture or thirty of myself. So while late winter is definitely an easier time to hide a pregnancy, still: it was a challenge.

First, my favorite pregnancy wardrobe discovery: the dress pictured above, a tank-style, sorta tent-y dress from H&M, was my go-to outfit all the way through. I’m about 6 1/2 months pregnant in that shot, so there wasn’t even a whit of hiding going on, but in the early days these dresses (plus a lightweight scarf and distracting hat/jewelry) did wonders to camouflage my tummy when I wasn’t ready to talk about it.

Some more ideas:

- Don’t completely overhaul your style - lest you raise suspicions - but veer towards looser, boho cuts with layered details (like that dress pictured above).

- Pair a flowy top with a super lightweight scarf (lucky you, scarves are in fashion even in warm weather these days, thanks in large part to Jessica Alba)

- Wrap tops (like the one pictured above) are your best friend - especially in a silky, patterned fabric, there’s so much going on there that no one will be able to tell what’s shirt and what’s shape.

- Extend the life of your non-maternity jeans by purchasing one of those waist-expanders…or by pulling a rubber band through the buttonhole to keep them closed.

- Distract with bells and whistles: the aforementioned scarves, hats, and oversized jewelry (try earrings that keep the focus on your face rather than necklaces that will draw attention to your midsection).

- Layer on a lightweight vest - especially one in an attention-grabbing color paired with a dark color underneath.

- On cooler days, try a boyfriend-style blazer in a lightweight fabric with a single low button that hits at the waistline (the blazer pictured above was one I wore constantly during the first couple of months).

Anyone else have suggestions for Jennifer?

*Name posted with reader permission.

What To Wear: To A “Tea Party” Wedding

Q. Hi Jordan,

I know so much about you from your site that I feel I am writing to an old friend. So, dear friend, I’m Delia and I have a dilemma.

I’ve been invited to a wedding, and after church [there is] a late lunch in a beautiful location by the sea. The theme is “tea party.” I have a beautiful emerald body-[conscious] dress that I’d like to wear…but what accessories would you recommend? How do you feel about gloves?

Thank you,

Delia

Abu Dhabi, UAE

A. Fun question! And what a fun-sounding wedding.

Of course the more traditional attire for a tea party-style wedding would be florals and/or pastels, but I love that you’ve chosen something different. With an emerald, knee-length dress I think there are two ways you could go:

1) Slightly over-the-top, Alice in Wonderlandish, and dramatic (in which case, hey: do the gloves. How many chances in your life do you get to wear something like that?)

or…

2) Refined and elegant with a retro twist (I love pink with emerald, provided you choose the right shade).

Product info is after the jump…along with a few more budget-friendly suggestions.

Dress: Alberta Ferretti

Alice In Wonderland: Modcloth earrings ($18), Kirna Zabete gloves ($225), Lulu Guinness clutch ($595), House of Harlow pumps ($260).

Retro & Refined: Aqua earrings ($35), Frederique watch, Reiss clutch ($170), Charlotte Olympia pumps.

More options:

Hoaglund, $330

L to R: DSW ($60), Debenhams (50EUR), Seychelles ($100)

Clockwise from L: Monsoon (30EUR), Dorothy Perkins ($55), Victoria’s Secret ($68), Sam Edelman ($168)

What To Wear: Honeymoon in Thailand

Q. Hi Jordan!

My husband and I have just booked a trip to Thailand (Bangkok and Phuket specifically). I would love some suggestions on what we should definitely see/do while there and also some suggestions on what to wear, mainly while in Bangkok. My primary concern is footwear. Would I be OK walking around Bangkok in flat, open toe sandals?

Best Regards,

Ellen

A. So exciting - you’re going to love that part of the world. Our honeymoon (in Thailand and Indonesia) was…jeez, nearly four years ago now, and unfortunately we didn’t spend much time in Bangkok, so I don’t have a ton of recommendations for you. I do remember wishing that we’d spent much more time there, though: we were advised to just use the city as a hub, but it’s such an incredible place, and the couple of nights that we spent there just wandering around and checking things out were my favorites of the entire trip.

One caveat: below are my recommendations for clothing, beauty, and footwear, but whoa am I not an expert on this part of the world, and when I was there actually ended up dressing myself in things that resulted in my having leeches on my butt (in the photo above, I have leeches on my butt but do not yet know it, hence the smile). So. If anyone who’s spent more time there has any recommendations or advice, please do leave them in the comments!

CLOTHING

Thailand is very hot andhumid, so think lightweight and loose. It’s a city, so people are used to seeing tourists in lots of different styles (and the Thai people, in my experience, are extremely polite and seem likely to forgive errors in judgment), but nevertheless: you’re a visitor in another culture, so I’d err towards the side of modesty, choosing short- or long-sleeved tops rather than tanks, and going for shorts that aren’t too short. Basically, just use common sense, and cover up when you’re visiting temples, historic sites, and government buildings.

A few examples of the types of things I wore are pictured above: light cotton tops that were easy to wash and dried quickly paired with loose cotton pants during the day, and no-wrinkle dresses with pretty embroidered wraps (pick these up once you get there) to cover my shoulders at night.

BEAUTY

On that same note of No-Joke Heat And Humidity, remember to tailor your approach to beauty accordingly: make sure you bring hair products that will work with your natural texture so you don’t have to spend time wrestling with your blowdryer (that’s a battle you’re going to lose), and try to winnow your makeup down to tinted moisturizer (with SPF!), waterproof mascara, and a little gloss.

FOOTWEAR

Go for more or less what you’d wear in any city in hot weather: light, easy-to-walk in sandals with decent support for trekking around, and maybe something a little prettier for nighttime (there are lots of fancy restaurants, but I didn’t go to any when I was there, so I didn’t find that heels were necessary). And remember to break them in before you go! I never remember to do that, but it is such a good idea.

Product info after the jump.

L to R: Anthropologie tee, Lancome Juicy Tube, Charter Club necklace, Dove Nourishing Curls Whipped Cream Mousse, Victoria’s Secret Crochet Beach Pant, Miu Miu sunglasses, Jigsaw bangles, Miu Miu sandals.

How-To: Wear Cobalt Shoes (To A Wedding)

Q. Hi Jordan! I’m going to a wedding this June with my boyfriend and his family. He just bought me a pair of shoes (unheard of for him!) and he is SO proud that he picked them out that I just have to wear them in front of his family. Any ideas for a great dress/color palette that would go with cobalt shoes and make a great impression on his family?

A. What a nice guy! And that’s really sweet of you to build an outfit around the shoes he bought you. I can tell already that his family is going to love you.

You know, I have a pair of shoes that are sort of purple-cobalt, but I didn’t wear them a ton for the first year I had them because I wasn’t entirely sure what they went with, until I realized that the answer is…kind of anything. And the bolder the choice, the more the shoes will stand out and get raves. I actually wore my shoes to Fashion Week, which isn’t a place where I tend to be the most well-heeled person around by any stretch of the imagination…and I couldn’t take three steps without being interviewed (yes, interviewed) about them.

Summary: cobalt shoes are good.

POSSIBLE PALETTE PAIRINGS

This dress is pretty wedding-perfect, if you ask me - demure enough to be appropriate to wear around your boyfriend’s family, but super-fashionable (especially with your new shoes!). It’s DVF and so fairly pricey, but a pretty, reasonably-priced black-and-white dress shouldn’t be too tough to find.

Some more options for you: 

L to R: Banana Republic ($98), C. Luce ($69), The Limited ($90)

Those aren’t too bad, right? I especially love the C. Luce in the center, maybe with a pale gray wrap (a little more unexpected than black or white) to cover up a bit in the evening.

Silver and rose are pretty, subtle options to pair with your cobalt - just make sure that the shade you choose isn’t too pale, lest you veer into wearing-white-at-another-woman’s-wedding territory. One note: in my opinion, pale shades like these are worth spending a little more money on, because a cheap cut and/or fabric are tougher to get away with when you’re dealing with such light colors.

L to R: Ports 1961 ($368 on sale), Banana Republic ($198), DVF ($385), French Connection ($328)

And finally, you could try my favorite idea: a super-bold citrus hue. Orange, pomegranate, and mustard shades will all look spectacular with cobalt shoes, and get you big fashionista points. Just make sure to keep your accessories simple so that the focus stays on the color pairing and the whole look doesn’t become overwhelming.

L to R: Asos ($134), Antik Batik ($173), Asos ($43), Romeo & Juliet ($150)

Hope that helps! Enjoy the wedding.

More cobalt shoes for the rest of us:

Clockwise from far left: Gucci, Nine West ($140), Kate Spade ($328), Jessica Simpson ($80), Dolce Vita ($150), BCBGeneration ($98), BCBG ($80 and a decent ringer for those Guccis, no?), BCBG ($115)

What To Wear: Country Cabin Wedding

Q. Hi Jordan,

I have decided to get married this spring in the yard of a beautiful country cabin. Picture mason jars…pictures clothes-pinned to twine…acoustic guitars…Chucks for the men. So I don’t know what to do for a dress. Also, I have practically no money to spend…I’m talking $200 max.

Any ideas or inspiration would be wonderful! 

Lindsay

Q. That setting is so perfect for a romantic, casual wedding look. You can still do the long white dress, but with a few homemade touches and items pulled straight from your closet, you’ll look beautifully bridal for next-to-nothing.

Let’s take this Rebecca Taylor cotton gown as inspiration for the first look. A little country, a lot relaxed, and easy to pair with sandals for dancing or an updo for the ceremony.

1. Search vintage stores for a long cotton dress - I’ve also had luck finding beautiful satin-and-lace nightgowns at consignment shops for not too much money. Take the dress to a tailor and have it fitted and lined to give it a bit more weight (and to cover up any potentially see-through patches).

2. Try DIY-ing a lace or gauze sash (just fold a long rectangle of lace in half lengthwise and sew the edges together, turn inside-out to hide the seam, and finish the ends by cutting them into a sparrow-tail and then heat-sealing them or painting them with clear polish so that they don’t fray). Or buy a simple silver belt. That’s easier.

3. You can also pick up some trimming for the neckline for just a few dollars, or embroider the details yourself if you’re handy like that.

4. Finish with a few pretty touches like pave stud earrings, a sparkly hair comb, and whimsical flats.

Another idea: go for a Greek Goddess-y look that’s all cream and gold and dancing-in-the-forest.

1. Start with a basic white tank dress with a great silhouette (I found that Thakoon dress on sale for just $74).

2. Add simple extras like a single bangle, a romantic wrap, a tassel belt, gold sandals, and sparrow earrings that serve both as your Something Blue and as a beautiful symbol of safe return home.

3. None of the accessories pictured above is over $50, but I’m willing to bet that you already have sandals and a wrap, and you can DIY that sash with a simple trip to the trimmings shop (or just go for a braided gold leather belt - that’s easy enough to find). The earrings I think you should just go ahead and buy, because they’re fantastic…bringing your grand total to just a hair over $100.

A wedding-day outfit that lets you play in the leaves. Not too shabby.

Related: 

What to Wear: Courthouse Wedding

What to Wear: Botanical Garden Wedding

Non-Traditional Wedding Dresses

What To Wear: Rock-Star Wedding

Q. Hi Jordan,

I am a long-time reader and big fan.  I’ve drawn a lot from your blog and your general outlook.  Thank you for being so sunny, I hope you realize that attitude is infectious even over the internet!

I need some fashion advice.  I have a very close friend who is getting married in February. The happy couple are musicians, and the wedding feel is more “rockstar party” than “virgin bride.”  Even the bride herself is wearing a short, sexy dress.

I have no idea what to wear. The wedding theme colours are “peacock colours,” which also complicates matters because as a redhead, jewel tones are what look best on me. To add one extra layer of challenge for you, I always struggle with what to wear as a cover-up for formal events in the winter.

Thank you so much, and best wishes with the baby!

Laura

A. OK, so that sounds like the most fun wedding to get dressed for ever. It’s the Holy Grail of wedding attire. And contrary to your worries, I think you lucked out with the red hair and the peacock colors theme, because unless we’re talking lady peacocks, it’s actually all about the jewel tones. With your coloring, you’d look spectacular in bright teal, emerald green, or deep purple.

Let’s start with an inspiration board to talk overall look, color theme, and ridiculously-expensive-but-beautiful-to-look-at dress ideas.

(If you’re curious, clockwise from the left those dresses are Roberto Cavalli, Narciso Rodriguez, Notte by Marchesa - actually my favorite, and on sale for about $350 - Lanvin, and Halston.)

So the overall look I’d do is nothing too short or tight (because it’s still a wedding), but dramatic in terms of color and cut. A sorta Studio 54 On A Sophisticated Evening look. Some more affordable dress ideas (all under $200):

From left: DVF ($129), Halston Heritage ($134), Catherine Malandrino ($191), Warehouse ($125), Oasis ($50), TopShop ($120)

And here are some options for accessories: I like the idea of pinning a sparkly vintage piece into your updo, or giving a literal nod to the peacock theme with some feathers.

And finally, you asked about wintry cover-ups: I’d do a cashmere wrap or capelet, and go for luxe grey (with teal or purple), or glamorous gold or silver (with any color)…just avoid basic black. If you’re in the mood to go big, try a short faux leopard jacket - amazing.

Have fun at the wedding! I’m jealous :).

Product info after the jump…

1. Windsor Store t-straps ($33)

2. Belle Noel hair comb ($35)

3. JC Penney hairclip ($7)

4. Similar: Dorothy Perkins ring (10 EUR)

5. Feather extension ($6.50)

6. Betsey Johnson earrings ($40)

7. Similar: Aldo shoes ($40)

8. Similar: ASOS earrings ($15)

9. ASOS comb ($15)

10. Similar: ASOS clutch ($29)