Q. Hi Jordan, I have chosen this dress from ASOS to be a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding, but am torn between keeping it at its current length or hemming it so that it hits me right above the knees. Could you offer any styling suggestions?

CM

A. I love that dress, and actually think there’s no hemming necessary: it’s very elegant in that midi length. In keeping with the slightly retro, Audrey Hepburn-ish feel, I’d say go for a simple slingback pump in gold (‘cause it’s a party!) and add a couple of slim bangles…and then go the Angelina Jolie route and add some emerald earrings for pop (and to give a nod to Spring).

P.S. For those of you who are as into this dress as I am, just an FYI: it’s $90 (!), and also comes in hot pink. Love love love.

Product info after the jump.

J. Crew bangles, Stella & Dot earrings (or try these if you want something a little fancier), Kate Spade slingbacks.

Original Article

Q. Jordan, my upcoming wedding is presenting me with a lot of exciting and fun events in the near future. When it comes to picking out the dress I had no trouble at all…but I’m feeling totally lost when confronted with the task of picking out outfits for the other important parties that go along with getting married.

Any help you could give would be amazing!

- Bethany

A. Oh, these events are so much fun to dress for - in some ways even more fun than the wedding itself, because they’re lower pressure but you can still go big. By which I mean: Red! White! Lace! Sequins!

One important thing to remember: lots of photographs will be taken of you at all these events, so try to lean towards relatively classic shapes and well-cut pieces, and choose those undergarments wisely.

Oh, just do it. Wear a tiny, tiny dress (L to R: Asos, TFNC, Oasis). I’d go for red or white (love that sequined number in the middle), but if you’re feeling a little more classic try a pretty wrap in eye-popping yellow.

I feel like your bridal shower is a nice opportunity to dress a wee bit Mad Men, with a nipped waist and a full skirt, but if the occasion is a little more cocktails than tea party, try coral with a hint of shoulder. L to R: Warehouse, Kate Spade, Shoshanna.

Two words: Kate. Spade. These are all occasion-perfect (L to R: Jillian, Brittany, Sweeney).

For the next day, I’d go for sweet, feminine, and comfortable (you’ll have had enough of ballgowns and heels by then). These pretty pieces (I’ve tried on the one on the left, and it’s way prettier than it looks in this photo) all fit the bill nicely. L to R: Rebecca Taylor, Shoshanna, Rebecca Taylor.

Original Article

Q. Hi Jordan,

I know so much about you from your site that I feel I am writing to an old friend. So, dear friend, I’m Delia and I have a dilemma.

I’ve been invited to a wedding, and after church [there is] a late lunch in a beautiful location by the sea. The theme is “tea party.” I have a beautiful emerald body-[conscious] dress that I’d like to wear…but what accessories would you recommend? How do you feel about gloves?

Thank you,

Delia

Abu Dhabi, UAE

A. Fun question! And what a fun-sounding wedding.

Of course the more traditional attire for a tea party-style wedding would be florals and/or pastels, but I love that you’ve chosen something different. With an emerald, knee-length dress I think there are two ways you could go:

1) Slightly over-the-top, Alice in Wonderlandish, and dramatic (in which case, hey: do the gloves. How many chances in your life do you get to wear something like that?)

or…

2) Refined and elegant with a retro twist (I love pink with emerald, provided you choose the right shade).

Product info is after the jump…along with a few more budget-friendly suggestions.

Dress: Alberta Ferretti

Alice In Wonderland: Modcloth earrings ($18), Kirna Zabete gloves ($225), Lulu Guinness clutch ($595), House of Harlow pumps ($260).

Retro & Refined: Aqua earrings ($35), Frederique watch, Reiss clutch ($170), Charlotte Olympia pumps.

More options:

Hoaglund, $330

L to R: DSW ($60), Debenhams (50EUR), Seychelles ($100)

Clockwise from L: Monsoon (30EUR), Dorothy Perkins ($55), Victoria’s Secret ($68), Sam Edelman ($168)

Original Article

Q. Hi Jordan! I’m going to a wedding this June with my boyfriend and his family. He just bought me a pair of shoes (unheard of for him!) and he is SO proud that he picked them out that I just have to wear them in front of his family. Any ideas for a great dress/color palette that would go with cobalt shoes and make a great impression on his family?

A. What a nice guy! And that’s really sweet of you to build an outfit around the shoes he bought you. I can tell already that his family is going to love you.

You know, I have a pair of shoes that are sort of purple-cobalt, but I didn’t wear them a ton for the first year I had them because I wasn’t entirely sure what they went with, until I realized that the answer is…kind of anything. And the bolder the choice, the more the shoes will stand out and get raves. I actually wore my shoes to Fashion Week, which isn’t a place where I tend to be the most well-heeled person around by any stretch of the imagination…and I couldn’t take three steps without being interviewed (yes, interviewed) about them.

Summary: cobalt shoes are good.

POSSIBLE PALETTE PAIRINGS

This dress is pretty wedding-perfect, if you ask me - demure enough to be appropriate to wear around your boyfriend’s family, but super-fashionable (especially with your new shoes!). It’s DVF and so fairly pricey, but a pretty, reasonably-priced black-and-white dress shouldn’t be too tough to find.

Some more options for you: 

L to R: Banana Republic ($98), C. Luce ($69), The Limited ($90)

Those aren’t too bad, right? I especially love the C. Luce in the center, maybe with a pale gray wrap (a little more unexpected than black or white) to cover up a bit in the evening.

Silver and rose are pretty, subtle options to pair with your cobalt - just make sure that the shade you choose isn’t too pale, lest you veer into wearing-white-at-another-woman’s-wedding territory. One note: in my opinion, pale shades like these are worth spending a little more money on, because a cheap cut and/or fabric are tougher to get away with when you’re dealing with such light colors.

L to R: Ports 1961 ($368 on sale), Banana Republic ($198), DVF ($385), French Connection ($328)

And finally, you could try my favorite idea: a super-bold citrus hue. Orange, pomegranate, and mustard shades will all look spectacular with cobalt shoes, and get you big fashionista points. Just make sure to keep your accessories simple so that the focus stays on the color pairing and the whole look doesn’t become overwhelming.

L to R: Asos ($134), Antik Batik ($173), Asos ($43), Romeo & Juliet ($150)

Hope that helps! Enjoy the wedding.

More cobalt shoes for the rest of us:

Clockwise from far left: Gucci, Nine West ($140), Kate Spade ($328), Jessica Simpson ($80), Dolce Vita ($150), BCBGeneration ($98), BCBG ($80 and a decent ringer for those Guccis, no?), BCBG ($115)

Original Article

Q. Hi Jordan,

I have decided to get married this spring in the yard of a beautiful country cabin. Picture mason jars…pictures clothes-pinned to twine…acoustic guitars…Chucks for the men. So I don’t know what to do for a dress. Also, I have practically no money to spend…I’m talking $200 max.

Any ideas or inspiration would be wonderful! 

Lindsay

Q. That setting is so perfect for a romantic, casual wedding look. You can still do the long white dress, but with a few homemade touches and items pulled straight from your closet, you’ll look beautifully bridal for next-to-nothing.

Let’s take this Rebecca Taylor cotton gown as inspiration for the first look. A little country, a lot relaxed, and easy to pair with sandals for dancing or an updo for the ceremony.

1. Search vintage stores for a long cotton dress - I’ve also had luck finding beautiful satin-and-lace nightgowns at consignment shops for not too much money. Take the dress to a tailor and have it fitted and lined to give it a bit more weight (and to cover up any potentially see-through patches).

2. Try DIY-ing a lace or gauze sash (just fold a long rectangle of lace in half lengthwise and sew the edges together, turn inside-out to hide the seam, and finish the ends by cutting them into a sparrow-tail and then heat-sealing them or painting them with clear polish so that they don’t fray). Or buy a simple silver belt. That’s easier.

3. You can also pick up some trimming for the neckline for just a few dollars, or embroider the details yourself if you’re handy like that.

4. Finish with a few pretty touches like pave stud earrings, a sparkly hair comb, and whimsical flats.

Another idea: go for a Greek Goddess-y look that’s all cream and gold and dancing-in-the-forest.

1. Start with a basic white tank dress with a great silhouette (I found that Thakoon dress on sale for just $74).

2. Add simple extras like a single bangle, a romantic wrap, a tassel belt, gold sandals, and sparrow earrings that serve both as your Something Blue and as a beautiful symbol of safe return home.

3. None of the accessories pictured above is over $50, but I’m willing to bet that you already have sandals and a wrap, and you can DIY that sash with a simple trip to the trimmings shop (or just go for a braided gold leather belt - that’s easy enough to find). The earrings I think you should just go ahead and buy, because they’re fantastic…bringing your grand total to just a hair over $100.

A wedding-day outfit that lets you play in the leaves. Not too shabby.

Related: 

What to Wear: Courthouse Wedding

What to Wear: Botanical Garden Wedding

Non-Traditional Wedding Dresses

Original Article

Q. My boyfriend and I just got engaged and are planning on doing a destination wedding with just us two, then one big reception back in the States for both of our families and all of our friends.

I’m wondering if a) you have any cool ideas for locations or wedding packages for our wedding, and b) what your advice would be for breaking it to our families that they aren’t invited to the ceremony - just the reception.

A. I love this idea. If a small, intimate affair is what you’re looking for this is a great way to get the wedding you want while still including your friends and family in the celebration…plus it’s a great way to cut costs if you keep the reception relatively informal.

For a destination wedding, my dream locations would be Turks & Caicos or the Greek Islands, but if you’re looking for something more affordable you might want to consider Cancun (really; if you go at any time other than Spring Break you won’t have a problem with the crazy kids, and you can get spectacular all-inclusive deals) or nearby - and slightly calmer - Cozumel (pictured above during our one-year anniversary trip; we spent quite the afternoon at Senor Frog’s). For more specific info, you might want to head over to Mary Rambin’s blog; she travels to Mexico frequently and has lots of great trip advice.

In terms of breaking it to your families that you’ll be having a private ceremony, the important thing to remember is that while your family’s feelings are of course something to be considered, this is your day, and it’s up to you how you want to do it. And besides, some of your friends and family members may be secretly relieved that you don’t expect them to purchase tickets to an exotic locale.

For most people, the invite will be sufficient to clarify what’s going on - nontraditional weddings are increasingly common these days, so it’s not like they won’t have ever heard of a couple doing this kind of thing. You don’t need to mention the ceremony at all - why bring up an event to which they’re not invited? Instead, try something like this: “_____ and _____ invite you to celebrate their recent marriage with a cocktail reception, to be held at _____.” You may get a few confused emails from those wondering where the ceremony is being held; if that happens, just tell them that you’ve decided to have a private ceremony, but are excited to celebrate the marriage with your family and friends at the reception.

You should be aware going in that some more traditional family members may be upset at the idea that they won’t be able to watch you get married, but hey: a little family drama is pretty much standard-issue for weddings, and when it comes down to it, the drama is nearly always coming from a place of love and a desire to feel included. Just keep the focus on the fun to be had at the reception - not on what an awesome time you’ll be having at the ceremony without them - and you should be good to go.

For more on Island Honeymoons and All-Inclusives, click here.

For more on Wedding Drama, click here.

Original Article

Q. Hi Jordan! I’m headed to Massachusetts for a wedding (taking place in a barn) next month and have nothing to wear because I live in Florida and totally don’t even know what’s appropriate to wear to a winter wedding. Also, I’m super tall and I don’t want to wear heels. Help me pull this off?

Thanks!

Corrie

A. Winter weddings can be a little more challenging when it come to attire, for sure. If the wedding is black-tie, you can go ahead and wear a floor-length gown, but it sounds to me like this wedding is probably semi-formal, if it’s in a barn - in which case you should dress as if you were going out to the fanciest restaurant in town. Think wintry colors and rich fabrics, and add pretty touches like crystal earrings, a cashmere bolero, and season-appropriate hair ornaments (I love art deco-inspired pieces at the moment). When it comes to the Chill Factor…honestly, I’d skip tights for something like a wedding (but apply self-tanner!). If you can’t bear the thought, though, click here for some info on how to wear tights with formalwear.

Now, style. I’d go for a feminine, slightly retro look with a little structure rather than something flowy, and add a wrap with sparkle or faux-fur. I know that you don’t want to wear heels, but even a tiny lift (as with a kitten heel) will do wonders to match the more formal look of winter wedding attire. But if you’re sold on flats, try a patent design with a dramatic accent (like the bow on those pink Valentinos) or a pointed toe - ballet flats are way too informal for something like this.

In sum: 

- Go floor-length only if the wedding is black-tie (daytime weddings are more casual than nighttime ones, and the feel of the invitation - plus where the wedding is located - can help you decipher the dress code if it’s not explicitly stated)

- Choose rich fabrics and wintry colors

- Add sparkle with accessories

- Beaded boleros and faux-fur wraps are great ways to help you stay warm during the dash into the reception

- Choose structured styles over flowy ones

- If you must wear flats, look for ones with dramatic accents

Product info after the jump. 

1. Aminaka beaded silk bolero; ModCloth Golden Gumption dress; Carolee button earrings; Rodarte hair comb; Bhldn brocade kitten heels.

2. Rachelle faux-fur shrug; ModCloth Shy Rose Lullaby dress; Marc by Marc Jacobs pave earrings; Valentino bow flats.

3. Oasis dress; Liberty London faux-fur stole; Kyler Designs rhodonite pendant earrings; Reiss kitten heels.

Original Article

Q. My good friend is getting married in July, and her closest childhood friend/bridesmaid just announced that she is due two weeks prior to the wedding date. The bridesmaid wants to buy the bridesmaid dress now and insists that she will road-trip 14 hours with her husband and newborn to attend the rehearsal dinner and wedding. This seems unrealistic! 

My friend isn’t sure how to handle this, and as another bridesmaid I want to help. As a new mom and someone who has attended a bunch of weddings, what do you think is the best approach for the bride?

- Cathy

A. The short answer is that your friend’s friend is not going to be at that wedding. Unless she gives birth way early, and even then, she’s probably not going to be at that wedding.

But what you have here is a situation where both parties (let’s call your pregnant friend Jane, and your about-to-be-married friend Sarah) just want to honor an important moment in each other’s life, and that’s a lovely problem to have. The issue, however, is that both of these important moments are absolutely packed with uncertainties, and tend to create piles of stress for all involved. Weddings are notorious for generating heightened emotions, and…well, as I just discovered, having a baby can throw you for quite a loop. Put these two events together, and there is Perfect Storm-level potential for drama.

First, I’d emphasize that ultimately, the decision of whether or not to attend Sarah’s wedding is up to Jane. When I was pregnant (that’s actually me pregnant and in a bridesmaid’s dress on the far right in the above photo), I got lunatic-style pissed-off at anyone who dared to tell me what my body would and would not be capable of doing in the days after birth. Yes, I WILL be able to appear on TV three days later, thankyouverymuch. (Nope.) Host a show the very next week? Absolutely! (No again.)

It’s just very difficult for some women, myself included, to come to terms with the fact that they will simply have to physically slow down a bit after having a child - their bodies just won’t be capable of what they used to be capable of for awhile. And that’s not including the exhaustion, the extremely steep and stressful learning curve that a newborn forces on you, and the enormous emotional issues that can arise. And all this can be extremely distressing for the woman going through it, so sensitivity is a must.

But still: Jane’s been invited to the wedding, she’s been asked to be a bridesmaid, and it’s her decision to make if she wants to wrap herself in taffeta fourteen days (or less; first babies tend to be late) after giving birth. And who knows? Maybe she will be able to do it.

A lot of what to do from there depends on Sarah’s attitude. If she’s pretty relaxed about all things wedding-related, then what I’d suggest is that she let Jane do as she will (buy the dress, make travel arrangements, etc), but make very clear to her that she will understand completely if she ends up being unable to make it. And then she should make arrangements to accommodate Jane’s absence, because like I said: Jane will probably be absent. For example, she should plan her bridesmaid/groomsman pairings assuming Jane won’t be there…and ask the most chilled-out bridesmaid to be willing to make a solo trip down the aisle in the event that Jane shows up. Have two seating plans for the table(s) in question drawn up and given to the caterers. Stuff like that.

If, however, Sarah is a slightly more high-strung bride-to-be, she may not want to leave such things up to chance…and she is 100% within her rights to want to exercise control over the goings-on on her big day. If Jane’s absence would end up causing a big headache (or lots of time/effort/money on Sarah’s part), she should clearly state to Jane that she doesn’t want to put any additional pressure on her during this stressful time, and that in order to make the situation easier for everyone she’d like to honor her by having her do a reading (or something to that effect) if she’s able to attend. This is a task that requires minimal day-of effort, and can easily be passed off to someone else if it’s very important to the bride. Being a bridesmaid is pretty consuming, and despite Jane’s insistence that she wants to be in the wedding party, she may be relieved to be asked to participate in an equally important - but less overwhelming - way.

x

J

Original Article

Q. Hi Jordan,

I have an etiquette question for you. My cousin is getting married, and sent out an RSVP card with the wedding invitations. There is a spot for my name, and a blank beside the statement “persons will attend.” But there isn’t anything to check whether I will or will not attend. I can’t make it to the wedding, so do I just put 0 for the number of people attending, or write something about regrets off to the side? Help!

Katie

A. Hey Katie!

I can understand your confusion - that’s some pretty awkward phrasing. I’ve received a couple of invites with RSVP cards like that and have been similarly perplexed, but what I’ve done in this situation is write “0” or “Regrets” in the blank space and then added a brief message alongside saying that I’m sorry that I won’t be able to be there and thanking the couple for inviting me to the wedding.

For those of you who may be hosting an event requiring RSVP cards, there’s really no “right” way to phrase one - you can be as formal or informal as you like - but my favorite format is this:

M__________

( ) Accepts

( ) Declines with Regret

I also like the idea of pre-filling in the name and including “and guest” (if a guest is permitted), to avoid confusion.

x

J

Original Article

Q. Hi Jordan,

I am a long-time reader and big fan.  I’ve drawn a lot from your blog and your general outlook.  Thank you for being so sunny, I hope you realize that attitude is infectious even over the internet!

I need some fashion advice.  I have a very close friend who is getting married in February. The happy couple are musicians, and the wedding feel is more “rockstar party” than “virgin bride.”  Even the bride herself is wearing a short, sexy dress.

I have no idea what to wear. The wedding theme colours are “peacock colours,” which also complicates matters because as a redhead, jewel tones are what look best on me. To add one extra layer of challenge for you, I always struggle with what to wear as a cover-up for formal events in the winter.

Thank you so much, and best wishes with the baby!

Laura

A. OK, so that sounds like the most fun wedding to get dressed for ever. It’s the Holy Grail of wedding attire. And contrary to your worries, I think you lucked out with the red hair and the peacock colors theme, because unless we’re talking lady peacocks, it’s actually all about the jewel tones. With your coloring, you’d look spectacular in bright teal, emerald green, or deep purple.

Let’s start with an inspiration board to talk overall look, color theme, and ridiculously-expensive-but-beautiful-to-look-at dress ideas.

(If you’re curious, clockwise from the left those dresses are Roberto Cavalli, Narciso Rodriguez, Notte by Marchesa - actually my favorite, and on sale for about $350 - Lanvin, and Halston.)

So the overall look I’d do is nothing too short or tight (because it’s still a wedding), but dramatic in terms of color and cut. A sorta Studio 54 On A Sophisticated Evening look. Some more affordable dress ideas (all under $200):

From left: DVF ($129), Halston Heritage ($134), Catherine Malandrino ($191), Warehouse ($125), Oasis ($50), TopShop ($120)

And here are some options for accessories: I like the idea of pinning a sparkly vintage piece into your updo, or giving a literal nod to the peacock theme with some feathers.

And finally, you asked about wintry cover-ups: I’d do a cashmere wrap or capelet, and go for luxe grey (with teal or purple), or glamorous gold or silver (with any color)…just avoid basic black. If you’re in the mood to go big, try a short faux leopard jacket - amazing.

Have fun at the wedding! I’m jealous :).

Product info after the jump…

1. Windsor Store t-straps ($33)

2. Belle Noel hair comb ($35)

3. JC Penney hairclip ($7)

4. Similar: Dorothy Perkins ring (10 EUR)

5. Feather extension ($6.50)

6. Betsey Johnson earrings ($40)

7. Similar: Aldo shoes ($40)

8. Similar: ASOS earrings ($15)

9. ASOS comb ($15)

10. Similar: ASOS clutch ($29)

Original Article

Q. Hi Jordan,

I have been following your blog for some time and I love it.

I am getting married in a few weeks and all of a sudden there is a circus of family drama coming out of nowhere.  My sisters-in-law-to-be want to run the show and are stamping their feet if they don’t get their way. It’s unbelievable. My fiance is having a hard time because he doesn’t want to upset or disrespect them, but he knows they’re being completely out of line.

How do you handle family wedding drama?! Help!

- Lauren

A. Hey Lauren!

First, congrats on your wedding! And oh, goodness, I’m so sorry about the drama - but if it makes you feel any better, I have yet to hear about a wedding that hasn’t involved a family tussle of some sort.

I had some drama surrounding my wedding that actually resulted in a couple of family members no longer speaking to me (and we’re going on three years now) because the fact that we chose to have our wedding in Maine meant that a fairly distant elderly relative whom I’d only met a handful of times wouldn’t be able to attend (seriously; it was so bizarre). So I hear ya.

Something about weddings just ratchets up the emotion level to Crazytown…but the good news is that the drama is almost always coming from a place of love (they want the wedding to be perfect and special, and want to feel like an important person in your life). And if it’s jealousy that’s the issue here…well, that’s not your fault, but it can help to understand where their feelings are coming from. Maybe your sisters-in-law are jealous that you’re “taking their brother away from them,” in which case there are things you can do to assure them that that’s not the case (like inviting them over more often).

Most importantly: remember that this is YOUR wedding (and your fiance’s)…not theirs. But because you don’t want to create tons of tension that may last long beyond the vows, I’d give smoothing things over a shot before confronting them directly. And to do this, I’d suggest keeping them distracted. Talk to each one individually, and tell her that you think that she’s sooo great at ___ (a task or two that you don’t mind handing over, like choosing the favors or following up with bridesmaids about fittings) that you were wondering if she wouldn’t mind being in charge of it. Be specific about what you’d like her to handle, and let her know what a huge help she’s being by taking care of this aspect of the wedding, and she’ll feel like she’s participating without horning in on stuff you don’t want her to be a part of.

If that doesn’t work, you’re fully within your rights to take them aside (individually) and gently (but firmly) tell them that while you’re excited that they’ll be a big part of your day, it’s important to you that your wedding represent you as a couple and that you want to make most of the big decisions yourself. And then keep wedding chatter to a minimum when you’re around them; the fewer chances they have to bring up the Big Event, the better.

And finally, remember to take some time in the last few weeks before you get married to shut off the stress and to just spend time with your fiance - it’s the love between you that should be the focal point, and that can be hard to remember when there’s so much noise and drama swirling around you. So pick up a bottle of wine and takeout, and spend a night talking about anything but the wedding.

Best of luck to you!

x

J

Original Article

perfection.

mbinnyc:

bridalsnob:

Crepe De Chine Column Wedding Gown

Ooooh.

This makes me feel sorta shy, but lots of you have written me to ask about our wedding, so here’s the first of my wedding posts (don’t worry, I won’t saturate the market, as it were…I’ll just post about a wedding topic every once in awhile). 

This is our invite, which I designed myself. I went to Papyrus to look over the invitation options, and quickly discovered that even the simplest designs (including an invitation, RSVP card, thank you card, etc) were totally out of our price range for the number of people we were inviting (about 150). Plus, I had a very specific idea about what I wanted in mind, and when it comes to weddings it seems that specificity = expense.

So Kendrick and I spent a night running around Brooklyn looking for old-fashioned photo booths (the booths in the first two places we tried were broken), and finally located one that functioned at Bushwick Country Club. I had my design-savvy friend Liz (who, along with Vanessa, was one of our maids of honor) photoshop the shots in a sepia tone, and then I worked with the Soho Papyrus store to pick out pale-pink recycled paper, a chocolate-brown typeface, and a dark-pink floral design. The whole thing ended up costing about $300 - a fraction of what it would have cost had we not designed them ourselves - and I was thrilled with the result. It was just…us.

So there’s no RSVP card? So what.