Q. Jordan! 

We are going to the American Heart Association’s “Have A Heart” gala next month, and I’m wearing this VS dress. What color shoes, accessories, etc, would you recommend? 

xx

Rain

A. Your dress is great! (FYI for the rest of you: it’s not the one pictured above, but is very similar; you can check out the VS version here.) When it comes to black-tie…you know, you can always do the standards: pearls, chandelier earrings, black heels, et cetera et cetera…but why not take this opportunity (how many black-tie galas does one get to go to, really?) to have a little more fun?

What I’d do: add a little glamorous ’30s style with pops of coral, jade green, and gold. I put together the above “dream board” (“dream board” rather than “reality board” because that’s a Reiss clutch and Gucci shoes; click here for product info) for you to show you the kind of look that I’m talking about, but below are some more affordable clutch and shoe alternatives.

Clockwise from top left: Coral Brandies clutch ($82), Isola shoes ($169), Ivanka Trump shoes ($145), Coral Satin Box Clutch ($32)

Original Article

Q. Hi Jordan,

I bought this dress at Banana recently: it’s strapless and floor-length which makes it feel formal, but lightweight and floral which makes it feel informal. I’m wearing it to a July wedding and am considering hemming it to the knee to get more use out of it afterwards…but I feel like part of why it’s so pretty is because it’s long.

Where/how would you wear it?

Thanks!

Karen

A. Oh, leave it long! Short it’s just your ordinary strapless floral dress…long, it’s spectacular. After the wedding, you can totally wear it out to dinner at night with loose waves, a sheer navy blouse tied at the waist (buttoned or not; sleeves rolled up) and/or a denim jacket if it’s chilly, and some casual jewelry.

Click here for product info.

Original Article

Q. Jordan,

You always do a great job helping folks find what they’re looking for - perhaps even more than what they’re looking for. Well, I’ve been eyeing this VPL “Caged” bikini for quite some time…but I was wondering if you could help me find some more reasonably priced alternatives.

Thanks,

Sara

A. Cute suit! For years, I sat firmly in the string-bikini-or-bust camp, thinking that suits with a more generous cut couldn’t possibly be flattering…until I discovered that I was…well…wrong. Now, these are the kinds of swimsuits I’m into. And these.

The VPL suit that you like (pictured above) is great both because of that slightly more covered-up cut, and because of that gorgeous structural colorblocking…

So let’s find some alternatives! I think the brown-and-pink DKNY pictured at the lower center is the closest match to the one you like, but might as well throw in a few littler suits for those of you who prefer a little extra skin with your surf, and some stunning-on-the-sand accessories, to boot.

Product info after the jump.

Clockwise from top left: Nine West bracelet, Becca bikini, Victoria’s Secret bikini, Thakoon for NARS polish, NARS Velvet Gloss Lip Pencil in Baroque, Bauble Bar Orange Pop Knot stud earrings, NARS Duo Eyeshadow in Rated R, Puma bikini, LeSportSac tote, DKNY bikini, ASOS neon earrings, Free People bikini.

Original Article

Q. Hi Jordan,

Just to say that I love catching up with your blog and that your thoughts and opinions are a constant source of daily inspiration for me! So naturally, I thought of you as I pondered my latest wardrobe dilemma: Even though I’m closer to Forever 31 than Forever 21, I recently bought this cute, color-block shift dress there and cannot, for the life of me, decide what to accessorize it with. What do you think?

Thanks in advance!

Jaime 

A. Hey Jaime! I, too, am far closer to Forever 31 (actually about two weeks away from that particular number)…but that doesn’t stop me from being a total fangirl about the place. It’s all in how you wear it, right?

As you may have been able to tell from yesterday’s post, I (like the rest of the world, and every single mass-market designer) am very into neon right now. Especially neon yellow shoes - they look just perfect for spring, and affordable versions can be found everywhere (I spotted identical styles earlier this week at both Steve Madden and Aldo).

Mix in a few extra color splashes and a touch of white, ground the whole look with a perfect denim jacket, and you’ve got an outfit that goes everywhere from brunch-with-friends (add a lightweight scarf and swap in flats, if that’s your druthers) to out-at-night (lose the jacket and add a ton of mascara).

P.S. How amazing is that nailpolish and that lipstick? Straight to the must-list.

Product info after the jump.

Clockwise from far left: Forever 21 dress, Armani Beauty Rouge Sheer d’Armani Lipstick in Acid Tangerine, Essie polish in Navigate Her, Notify denim jacket, Jada rose gold neon bracelets, Proenza Schouler pouch, Fergie heels.

Original Article

Q. I’m 25 and stand a whopping 5’10” in bare feet. Don’t get me wrong: I enjoy being this tall (especially at concerts), but when it comes to shoe shopping I usually opt for something boring, masculine or clunky. For the first time I have been curious about wearing heels. I have zero experience walking in them, and I’m not really looking to be taller than my boyfriend (who is 6’1”).

Do you have any shoe suggestions for me?

- Jenny

A. Absolutely!

One great option for you is a kitten heel. Technically a kitten heel is a skinny little stiletto-ish thing that’s 4.75cm or less (thank you, Wikipedia)…but what it really is is a nice way to get a little lift while avoiding the perils (and discomfort) of for-real high heels.

Since warm weather is on the way, try a pair that will give your outfit a pretty pop of color (and if all that brightness makes you nervous, pair the shoes with simple jeans and a white tee for a look that’s fun, but still classic). What’s nice about most of these styles as well is that they have an open toe; the pointy toe that you’ll find on lots of kitten-heel styles may be a little uncomfortable for you if you’re not used to it.

If that narrow heel looks too teeter-y for you, try a low wedge (raffia is great for casual wear, but stick to leather styles for work).

And once you’ve gotten a bit more comfortable with the idea of wearing heels, you may want to invest in a gorgeous, neutral, go-with-everything pair like one of the styles above. (Yes, I consider leopard a neutral.)

Enjoy!

x

J

Product info after the jump.

Top set, clockwise from L: Asos ($63), Michael Perry ($210), Butter ($49), J. Crew ($179)

Middle set, clockwise from top L: Juicy Couture ($198), Jaeger (140EUR), Ash ($184), Bandolino ($60), Sigerson Morrison ($225)

Bottom set, L to R: Rupert Sanderson, Burberry, Robert Clergerie

Original Article

Today’s question comes from one reader in particular…but I’m publishing it (with her permission) because it’s a question that I’ve received in one form or another so often, from so many of you. I’m saying this not to diminish the importance of these feelings; quite the contrary, I’m saying that I’ve felt like this, and I know it feels lonely, and I also know that if you feel like this, you are not alone.

Q. Hi Jordan,

I’m not really sure how to start an e-mail like this, even though I’ve been reading your blog for a long time now and feel like I “know” you. All I can say is that I’m at a point in my life where I’m feeling so lost and confused that for some reason I feel compelled to reach out to you, especially after your recent post recapping your engagement and whirlwind romance with your now-husband.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for five years, [and] we’ve built a pretty solid life together. About a year ago we started moving steadily towards engagement, and about six months ago he went an bought a ring. Knowing that the proposal was coming, something inside me snapped and I started to panic.

Something has always felt “off” in our relationship, like something was missing. What scares me is that while I love him so much and our relationship shines in so many ways, I don’t know that I could ever love him in the can’t-live-without-you [way]. I guess what scares me is the indecision of it all, wondering if I’m throwing away a really good, solid, stable relationship because I’m chasing the pipe dream of something great, something more than what I have right now. I so desperately want to feel the things for him that I don’t right now, but I’m not sure that I ever will.

I know that at the end of the day I’m the only one who really knows what it is that I’m feeling, but I guess what I’m hoping so desperately for is that you will share with me if, in your experience, that full-spectrum love exists. I know that you’ve mentioned that you were in a serious relationship in the past that ended, and when you met your husband something about it just felt right, felt different than what you had before. And I guess that’s what I need to hear right now: is that there is a difference between loving someone but still feeling empty, and finding someone who makes you feel complete.

A. This is a tough situation that you’re in. And you’re right: of course no one save for you can say for sure whether this relationship is right for you, and I don’t want to tell you what you should or should not do, but you wrote to me for honesty. And so here’s what I think.

I’ve actually been in three long-term relationships that at one point or another seemed to be headed in the direction of marriage. In one, I contemplated marrying a guy because he was great, and we were best friends, and he would have given me a “good life” and stability and all those nice things that don’t necessarily add up to true love. In the others, I came close to engagement because I felt, for one reason or another, like I had to: with one man, it was because my job and the life that I had been building felt contingent on the success of our relationship (and because I remembered how our relationship had been in the past, and always held out hope that we would return to that incredible time, though we never did), and with another man it felt like I had given up so much to be with him (the aforementioned relationship, job, and life) that to not marry him was tantamount to admitting that I had made an unspeakably enormous mistake.

Look: people choose to get married (or not) for all sorts of reasons. Happiness can be scarce enough in this world, and long as a person’s choices bring him or her joy, then that’s really great. I mean that. And there’s something to be said for prioritizing companionship in life, even if that companionship doesn’t come in the package you may have expected or hoped for. But it doesn’t sound like that’s the way your priorities lean, and it’s not the way mine do, either.

To my mind, there is no reason to marry someone other than the belief - the full, wholehearted, all-of-you certainty - that you really, really want to (I originally said “must”, but I think the key element here is desire, not destiny). That you have met someone who recognizes those parts of you that no one else in the world even sees, and whom you recognize in return. This isn’t to say that things are always blissful and dreamy - there have been times when my relationship with Kendrick has grown so rocky that we’ve both struggled with it, for sure - but there has always been the strong, steady knowledge that no matter what happens, we were made to hold each others’ hearts. There is no one on this planet who would hold mine with such care as Kendrick does; that’s just the truth.

Another truth: marriage is very, very difficult. Those people who say “relationships shouldn’t be work”? I’m always hesitant to judge others’ perspectives, because to each their own, but in this case I’m pretty prepared to say: nope, that is wrong. Relationships - especially ones that last decades - are hard. Marriage is hard. And it’s hard - often harder than you were prepared for - with the person that you are truly, deep down, meant to be with. With anyone else, it would be impossible. I believe that.

Did you ever read my post called Love And Living Rooms? In short: there is no checklist in the world that I could reference to explain why I married Kendrick. I married him not because he fulfilled some needs of mine; I married him very simply because he is him, with everything that means (and doesn’t mean).

Whole-heart, all-in love exists, but it’s not glitter and rainbows: it’s real, and it’s a struggle…and it’s all worth it. It’s not the swoony romance of those early months or years; it’s sometimes that, too…but mostly it’s much more: it’s caring for another soul the way you care for yourself, and experiencing the certainty that you are cared for in that way in return. And I would encourage you to look for that, because it’s not something that you want to miss out on. Even the hard parts: they’re so good, and so very very much the point of it all.

x

J

Original Article

Q. Dear Jordan,

I’m so embarrassed that this is the way I’m choosing to introduce myself to you, but hey: Desperate Times, meet Desperate Measures. It seems like most of your readers write to ask about weddings (fun!) and recipes (super fun!) and bras (kinda fun?), so my holy-shit-what-do-I-do-with-my-life email to someone I really don’t know seems kind of insane. But, Jordan? Holy shit, what do I do with my life?

I graduated from college last May with the ever-financially-rewarding degree in English and have, since then, been working in the office of the business my mom created. I’ve also applied to grad school - all Creative Writing programs that have less than 1% acceptance rates - and rekindled a terribly inconvenient relationship with my first love.

I really don’t know why I’m writing; I’m not the kind of person who contacts random lifestyle hosts/bloggers/new mothers for Major Life Advice, but I guess my reasoning was a bit of this: I’ve seen you build something - Ramshackle Glam - and I know from what you’ve written that you pursued lots of different avenues before settling into where you are now. So I guess I figured that maybe you’d be able to give me some advice?

I think the problem is that we’re all raised to believe we’re exceptional and that we can and should do exceptional things. I mean, how do you know what you are Meant To Do? Are you meant to do it if all the “doors of opportunity” in that direction are closing in your face? 

I know you’re a new mom, and if all you have time for is a “Get yourself together, girl,” I’ll not only perfectly understand, I’ll actually try to, like, you know, get myself together. 

Lots of love,

Meghan*

A. Ah, Meghan, I just woke up and read part of this email to Kendrick while having coffee, and he said, “Huh. That sounds like an email that you would have written three years ago.” To the word. Three years ago, I was working at a job I didn’t even come close to feeling was right for me (or enjoy), applying to grad schools just because I wasn’t sure what else to do, and wondering…you know, “Holy shit, what do I do with my life?” Crying about where things were headed all the time, because I felt like I had been given so many extraordinary opportunities…and then there I was, doing a whole lot of nothing at all.

It’s tough to give concrete advice here because the truth is that when it comes down to it part (not all) of the process of arriving at what you want to do depends on luck, chance, whatever you want to call it - especially when you haven’t set out upon a conventional road (get degree —> get job —> get promotion). But it’s so important to keep your eyes open to the opportunities life throws at you - don’t ignore those bits of luck or twists of fate when they come your way, because they will, especially if you keep pushing yourself to explore different directions. Be open-minded. What you are Meant To Do might be a thing you never even considered…but that thing might make you happier than anything you had ever imagined, so don’t ignore it when it shows up knocking.

I can say that I think going to school is an excellent idea. I did about 1/3 of a Master’s in Hospitality (I know; I was having a crisis, like I said), and while it was a very expensive moment of career confusion that I’ll be paying for for the next, oh, twenty years, it also got me all excited and inspired, and energized me to the point where I was able to see new possibilities…and that time period directly resulted in what I’m doing today.

Keep trying things, and follow through. Did you know that no one follows through? I remember when we were shopping around the pilot for Sunny, no one could believe that we’d actually just gone ahead and done it. Every actor/director/writer we knew was always announcing his or her plans to shoot their own pilot and shop it to networks…but no one did. They just talked about doing it.

It’s one of the great secrets of life: everyone talks and talks about all the things they’re going to do, and very few people actually do them. And those who do just blow everyone away.

Really, I hear you: I know that this feeling of wanting to do something and not knowing how to go about doing it is just crushing. Almost the worst feeling, the sense that you’re wasting time and wasting all those opportunities that you’ve been given. But you’re not, and you haven’t. What you’re going through is an absolutely crucial part of the growing-up process that smart, creative people with enormous dreams and capabilities go through - or at least that’s been my experience from watching those around me.

I don’t want to suggest that I have it all figured out - of course not, not at all. But I do know that I used to feel just as you do, and I also know both that it’s very, very difficult, and that it will not last forever, not if you keep your eyes open to the possibilities around you.

Look: if you didn’t care so much, you wouldn’t feel this way. And it’s because you care that you’ll put in the work to change your situation, and to do great things.

And that’s not making you feel better - that’s just the truth.

Lots of love,

J

*Reader email edited and reprinted with reader permission.

Related:

Save The Assistants: An Interview with Lilit Marcus (plus Career Advice)

Follow My Bliss Interview

Original Article

Q. Hey Jordan!

My husband & I just bought our first home and I am in the process of decorating…my concern now is curtains. I’m thinking I want to go with something sheer, but I’m not sure what color. I’d love some ideas for what I can do to warm up the place and make it feel more homey!

Thanks!

- Steph

A. Congrats on your new home!

First, I ran your photo through a color palette generator to clearly lay out what we’re working with here - your room is full of shades of grey and blue-grey with a touch of burgundy and black, which is a very cool color scheme, so you’re absolutely right to have the goal of adding a little warmth - and curtains are a great place to start.

You can choose curtains that are red, dusty rose, silver, gold, or cream, but what I would do to add a homey feel is focus on texture, layering in rich, cozy fabrics.

Start with some cream curtains and sparkling tie-backs…

Add a super-soft area rug (it looks like you have a carpet - but maybe there are hardwood floors underneath? Just an idea) and throw blanket…

And some pillows…

And then sprinkle in some inexpensive, fun accessories and natural elements that bring the outdoors in.

Click here for lots more inexpensive decorating ideas, and remember - you can always check out my Pinterest for tons more home decor inspiration.

Product info after the jump.

Chloe Gauze Curtains ($20)

Antique Brooch Curtain Tie-backs (2 for $24)

Crate & Barrel Rug (try Overstock for inexpensive alternatives)

West Elm Throw ($79)

Pillows (L to R): West Elm ($29), Croscill ($50), West Elm ($39)

John Lewis Candlesticks (12 EUR; try Target or Z Galerie for similar)

Retro Planet Clock ($33)

Original Article

By which I mean “troubles with The Girls.”

Those girls.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve received two emails on opposite ends of the Breast Spectrum, and completely related to both of them.

Let’s take the first, from Cate:

My girls are 36 DD, which sounds nice in theory, but in reality means that beautiful, low cut v-necks immediately look like porn costumes.  The thing is, I hate the way a cotton tank looks layered under things that are theoretically meant to be worn bare. I’d love your thoughts on what might look sweet (and also cover things up).

Oh, I hear you, Cate. I’m a 34 D on a good day (and get myself up into E territory when pregnant, as I recently discovered), and I hate emphasizing the chest area - it’s just not my look. I love the retro, nipped-waist look with a full figure…but that’s simply not a style that I gravitate towards, which leaves me with a problem similar to yours. Oh, and I too hate layering camis under tops - too much material, and I hate how the cami draws focus from the top and looks like an afterthought. It’s just so obvious what you were trying to do, right?

Anyway, what you need is a spectacular bra with zero padding that lifts and separates, rather than lifts and pushes together. Demi-cups are great for this, but it can be tough to find them sans pads. I’m a big fan of the Victoria’s Secret BioFit (pictured above), which features a low front and convertible straps, and has no padding and wider, more comfortable straps in the larger sizes.

The next question comes from Becki:

Hi Jordan,

I have a serious problem: I am done nursing [my son], and this has given me a huge sense of freedom but a major loss in my chest region. I went from a healthy D cup to now a semi-A cup…we are talking about a whole lot of NOTHING!! We leave for FL in less than 2 weeks and I am in need of some styling tips. I’m looking for flattering tops/swimwear that won’t break the bank!

Enough is enough: it has to be said, and those of you who have yet to be pregnant should just prepare yourselves going in. I’ve spoken with a lot of women about this over the past few months, and it’s just a fact: having a baby does very unkind things to your boobs. At the very least, they’ll end up looking…different. Not like the ones you’ve spent decades getting used to.

Overshare? Sorry. Maybe this isn’t a universal condition, but it’s an important possibility to get on your radar, and no one tells you about this beforehand. They should. It’s insane.

Anyway, since I’m still nursing I unfortunately have very little experience with A-cup Land, but what I can suggest (because if you went from a D to an A there’s probably a little support issue going on) is picking up an excellent bra that you don’t mind letting show a little under your tanks - you’ll get more lift than you would from a built-in bra, and it’s sexier, to boot. Since you’re going to Florida, I’d suggest neons, which will look great under neutral tanks (above, from left: Hanky Panky, Deborah Marquit, Forever 21).

And for swimwear, I’m getting back on the Victoria’s Secret train, because they make some incredible sets with lots of lift and padding, and other enhancing things like ruffles and sequins and large slogans that say BREASTS (essentially). Seriously, though, they’re really great suits, and are most certainly figure-enhancing (from left to right, that’s the 5-Way Push-Up Bandeau, the Forever Sexy Push-Up Bandeau, and my favorite, the Madi Bandeau). As an alternative, you could take advantage of your straighter figure and go for a suit that the bustier among us have more trouble with, like a one-piece with graphic cutouts.

Hope that helps!

Original Article

Q. Hi Jordan,

As of late, I am at war with my Louboutins. Literally, within 10 minutes of wearing them, my ankles feel as if they will give out at any second.

Help! Have you had this issue? Is it the end of heels? Any tips?

Love your blog!

Michelle

A. Hmm…weakness not so much, but heel trouble generally, yes, and it makes me feel old. I’m not sure what happened: it used to be that I was all, “Oh, an entire day of shopping downtown? Heels! Out all night dancing and taking subways to far-flung parts of the city? Heels, obviously!” etc. It wouldn’t have even occurred to me that there might be an issue of…you know, pain. Sure, my feet hurt a little towards the end of the festivities, but I just kinda dealt with it. Now? No. No more dealing with it.

Those shoes I’m wearing in the above photo? I sort of side-eye them every time I’m getting ready to go out (by which I mean out-out, not out-to-the-grocery-store), think how cute they’d look (because nude pumps tend to generally look cute with pretty much every outfit)…and then think: “Ehhhhhhggg. Can’t.”

And then I think to myself my, how responsible I’ve grown. But the truth is just that they hurt, and I’m grumpy about pain. And once I was walking down the street wearing those heels and a very short miniskirt, and feeling all fabulous and flouncy, and then took such a ridiculously dramatic fall thanks to the cobblestone street that I ended up showing horrifying things to various passers-by while sprawled out on the sidewalk, and that was not an experience I’m looking to repeat anytime soon.

Anyway, I hear you. And while I think the answer that I’m supposed to give is to choose lower heels…nah. I don’t really like them, either. I do, however, gravitate towards stacked heels (like these) lately; I feel like they’re less likely to result in ankle-twisting than stilettos, and besides, they’re very chic. I’ve also been opening my mind to the adorableness of great flats (right now, I love pointy-toed patent styles (like these), as well as big, rugged lace-up boots (like the Clarks pair pictured above).

When I see a pair of sky-highs that I absolutely must own, I usually purchase cozy inserts for them (Aldo sells good ones; you may need to go up a half-size, so try on the shoes with the inserts in the store). And finally…yes…I wear flats to and from places where I want to wear heels if a taxi isn’t on the menu. But there is no need to do the ugly-white-sneakers thing: just keep a pair of foldable black flats handy, and you can do a (very inelegant, but whatever) switcheroo on the street before heading up to wherever it is that you’re going. (Keep a plastic bag in your purse to put the flats in so the interior doesn’t get dirty, or stash them in a cute cloth tote.) That’s actually what I did on Sunday: snowboots to and from my aunt’s place; wedges once inside. And as a bonus, this practice keeps the soles of your fancy shoes from getting too much wear and tear, so there’s that.

Original Article

Q. Hi Jordan! I’m headed to Massachusetts for a wedding (taking place in a barn) next month and have nothing to wear because I live in Florida and totally don’t even know what’s appropriate to wear to a winter wedding. Also, I’m super tall and I don’t want to wear heels. Help me pull this off?

Thanks!

Corrie

A. Winter weddings can be a little more challenging when it come to attire, for sure. If the wedding is black-tie, you can go ahead and wear a floor-length gown, but it sounds to me like this wedding is probably semi-formal, if it’s in a barn - in which case you should dress as if you were going out to the fanciest restaurant in town. Think wintry colors and rich fabrics, and add pretty touches like crystal earrings, a cashmere bolero, and season-appropriate hair ornaments (I love art deco-inspired pieces at the moment). When it comes to the Chill Factor…honestly, I’d skip tights for something like a wedding (but apply self-tanner!). If you can’t bear the thought, though, click here for some info on how to wear tights with formalwear.

Now, style. I’d go for a feminine, slightly retro look with a little structure rather than something flowy, and add a wrap with sparkle or faux-fur. I know that you don’t want to wear heels, but even a tiny lift (as with a kitten heel) will do wonders to match the more formal look of winter wedding attire. But if you’re sold on flats, try a patent design with a dramatic accent (like the bow on those pink Valentinos) or a pointed toe - ballet flats are way too informal for something like this.

In sum: 

- Go floor-length only if the wedding is black-tie (daytime weddings are more casual than nighttime ones, and the feel of the invitation - plus where the wedding is located - can help you decipher the dress code if it’s not explicitly stated)

- Choose rich fabrics and wintry colors

- Add sparkle with accessories

- Beaded boleros and faux-fur wraps are great ways to help you stay warm during the dash into the reception

- Choose structured styles over flowy ones

- If you must wear flats, look for ones with dramatic accents

Product info after the jump. 

1. Aminaka beaded silk bolero; ModCloth Golden Gumption dress; Carolee button earrings; Rodarte hair comb; Bhldn brocade kitten heels.

2. Rachelle faux-fur shrug; ModCloth Shy Rose Lullaby dress; Marc by Marc Jacobs pave earrings; Valentino bow flats.

3. Oasis dress; Liberty London faux-fur stole; Kyler Designs rhodonite pendant earrings; Reiss kitten heels.

Original Article

Q. Jordan! I’m wearing this dress to my husband’s work cocktail party (I wouldn’t normally pick such a tight dress for a holiday party, but the husband insisted on “sexy” instead of my usual flowy dress style). Will it look dumb with stockings (because girl, it’s cold out)? Still undecided if I should go with these booties - should I, shouldn’t I?

Thanks so much,

Rain

A. Oh my goodness, definitely wear tights! Because yeah, it’s cold out…but also because if you don’t, you’ll spend all night with people coming up to you and saying, “Bare legs?! Aren’t you cold?!” And that’s annoying. I know because I constantly go out in the winter with bare legs (sorry, Mom), and people constantly lecture me about it, and it’s annoying. If it was a very fancy affair, I’d say maybe suffer through the chill, but if you’re looking to wear that dress and those boots, it sounds like a pretty fun, relaxed kinda event. So: tights, yes.

Stockings, I don’t know about. Nude stockings are theoretically making a bit of a comeback thanks to the royals, but…ehhhh. They still feel kind of weird to me. And black sheer stockings run the risk of taking a look into Pretty Woman territory, I think (I’m generally only a fan of sheer black stockings if they’re patterned and come packaged with an ironic wink). So my advice would be to go for opaque black tights, which will actually go quite nicely with the rocker chick feel of the booties, so long as you balance out the darkness on your lower half by adding some key accessories to your top.

The fact that the black booties are a little rocker-girl sexy actually gives you lots of options for adding balance to the outfit - anything from a dark wrap to a glittery bolero jacket can work. Or you could just throw on some heavy jewelry, like a statement necklace or black resin bangle, to streamline the look - just keep your makeup fairly neutral and pretty (think sheer lips, not red).

Have fun!

Product info after the jump.

1. Warehouse shrug

2. Mango bracelet

3. Lanvin necklace

4. Amanda Wakeley shrug

5. Kendra Scott earrings

6. Matthew Williamson shrug

7. John Lewis necklace

8. Wet Seal belt

9. Marc Jacobs bangle

10. Lanvin choker

Original Article

Q. Dear Jordan,

I hope that this finds you well. I just want to say how much I love your blog. It is the best city fix that I have found up here in NH. 

OK, I love purses. But I also tend to spill red liquids on myself while wearing pastels…so my collection of purses is largely weather-proof tote bags. Anyways, I’ve decided that it’s time to get a real grown-up purse, [but] I live in NH, where there’s a lot of rain, snow, mist, hail, sleet, etc.

Any tips, tricks or secrets to keeping a purse fabulous despite the dreary weather?

Thanks so much,

Katie

A.  Hey Katie,

Ooh, I hear you on this. Francesca owns a couple of stunning white purses that she keeps in absolutely pristine condition, and this talent of hers just floors me. I had a (fake, thank god) white Miu Miu purse for awhile there (it was stolen during a break-in a little over a year ago), and it was like it cosmically attracted everything from red wine to highlighter (and I don’t even use highlighters, quel mystère). So part of this is straight-up personality: some people just attract mess, and I am one of them. Francesca is not. What can you do? (That white purse I’m carrying up there? Let’s just say it’s a good thing that photo isn’t a close-up.)

But of course there are some ways to keep disaster at bay when it comes to investment purses: namely, treat the piece with a leather protector (Geox makes a good one; so does Aldo) immediately upon purchase, send it out for a professional cleaning annually, and store it in the dustbag it came in when not in use (incidentally, those bags also make for excellent lingerie storage when traveling). I’ve started doing these things, and they actually have made an enormous difference.

When it comes down to it, though, I don’t think it’s worth it to own something that you’d be devastated about if you screwed it up - constantly worrying about the finish on your purse makes for not-very-fun nights out. So what I’d recommend to the accident-prone is to go for a bag that looks better the older it gets - like a brown purse in a slightly rugged style, as opposed to a structured bag with a glossy finish that’s meant to look flawless.

And I know this may sound obvious, but really: just don’t take the thing out when the weather is really crappy. Those fashionistas with the perfect purses? They probably have large taxicab budgets (the NYC ones, anyway). For less-than-gorgeous days, my suggestion would be to keep a bag on hand that’s still stylish, but can’t be ruined, like the Ellington Mia Small Messenger. It’s well-priced, and has all the style of a leather bag with none of the potential for disaster.

Hope that helps!

J

Original Article

Q. My good friend is getting married in July, and her closest childhood friend/bridesmaid just announced that she is due two weeks prior to the wedding date. The bridesmaid wants to buy the bridesmaid dress now and insists that she will road-trip 14 hours with her husband and newborn to attend the rehearsal dinner and wedding. This seems unrealistic! 

My friend isn’t sure how to handle this, and as another bridesmaid I want to help. As a new mom and someone who has attended a bunch of weddings, what do you think is the best approach for the bride?

- Cathy

A. The short answer is that your friend’s friend is not going to be at that wedding. Unless she gives birth way early, and even then, she’s probably not going to be at that wedding.

But what you have here is a situation where both parties (let’s call your pregnant friend Jane, and your about-to-be-married friend Sarah) just want to honor an important moment in each other’s life, and that’s a lovely problem to have. The issue, however, is that both of these important moments are absolutely packed with uncertainties, and tend to create piles of stress for all involved. Weddings are notorious for generating heightened emotions, and…well, as I just discovered, having a baby can throw you for quite a loop. Put these two events together, and there is Perfect Storm-level potential for drama.

First, I’d emphasize that ultimately, the decision of whether or not to attend Sarah’s wedding is up to Jane. When I was pregnant (that’s actually me pregnant and in a bridesmaid’s dress on the far right in the above photo), I got lunatic-style pissed-off at anyone who dared to tell me what my body would and would not be capable of doing in the days after birth. Yes, I WILL be able to appear on TV three days later, thankyouverymuch. (Nope.) Host a show the very next week? Absolutely! (No again.)

It’s just very difficult for some women, myself included, to come to terms with the fact that they will simply have to physically slow down a bit after having a child - their bodies just won’t be capable of what they used to be capable of for awhile. And that’s not including the exhaustion, the extremely steep and stressful learning curve that a newborn forces on you, and the enormous emotional issues that can arise. And all this can be extremely distressing for the woman going through it, so sensitivity is a must.

But still: Jane’s been invited to the wedding, she’s been asked to be a bridesmaid, and it’s her decision to make if she wants to wrap herself in taffeta fourteen days (or less; first babies tend to be late) after giving birth. And who knows? Maybe she will be able to do it.

A lot of what to do from there depends on Sarah’s attitude. If she’s pretty relaxed about all things wedding-related, then what I’d suggest is that she let Jane do as she will (buy the dress, make travel arrangements, etc), but make very clear to her that she will understand completely if she ends up being unable to make it. And then she should make arrangements to accommodate Jane’s absence, because like I said: Jane will probably be absent. For example, she should plan her bridesmaid/groomsman pairings assuming Jane won’t be there…and ask the most chilled-out bridesmaid to be willing to make a solo trip down the aisle in the event that Jane shows up. Have two seating plans for the table(s) in question drawn up and given to the caterers. Stuff like that.

If, however, Sarah is a slightly more high-strung bride-to-be, she may not want to leave such things up to chance…and she is 100% within her rights to want to exercise control over the goings-on on her big day. If Jane’s absence would end up causing a big headache (or lots of time/effort/money on Sarah’s part), she should clearly state to Jane that she doesn’t want to put any additional pressure on her during this stressful time, and that in order to make the situation easier for everyone she’d like to honor her by having her do a reading (or something to that effect) if she’s able to attend. This is a task that requires minimal day-of effort, and can easily be passed off to someone else if it’s very important to the bride. Being a bridesmaid is pretty consuming, and despite Jane’s insistence that she wants to be in the wedding party, she may be relieved to be asked to participate in an equally important - but less overwhelming - way.

x

J

Original Article