Ramshackle Glam (Tumblr)

Variegated Yarn Baby Blanket

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 11:58:15 -0400

Variegated Yarn Baby Blanket

New style post, featuring a weird (for me) silhouette.

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 10:27:42 -0400

New style post, featuring a weird (for me) silhouette.

Weekend Snapshots: Father's Day Edition

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 08:27:12 -0400

Honestly, is there anything like a midday hammock nap break?

Except for birthday parties involving balloons and best friends. Those are pretty great, too.

On Saturday night, as an early Father’s Day present, I took Kendrick to see – what else? – Superman.

Ehhh.

I mean, really, guys?! This movie had Russell Crowe – the Gladiator himself- at its emotional center. Diane Lane, who is lovely. Kevin Costner! The most obscenely attractive pectoral muscles I have ever seen, ever! Grand, universally appealing themes involving questions of belonging and acceptance!

There was literally no excuse for it not to be wonderful. Obviously there’s a lot of hype to live up to there, but still: oh my goodness did the script ever not make sense.

It didn’t matter much to us, though: two hours of sitting completely still and eating popcorn is enough to make us happy as little butter-covered clams.

I celebrated Father’s Day with my dad last week (a day of fishing, of course), so Sunday was just the three of us and a few presents.

Quite an autograph, no?

And quite a present, ifIdosaysomyself.

Kendrick has a huge thing for Air Jordans, and I totally don’t get it, so the conversation at the Nike store went like this:

Me: My husband has a huge thing for Air Jordans and I totally don’t get it.

Man At Nike Store: He probably wants these.

Me: Okay.

Because it’s Father’s Day and he deserves a little appreciation (also just because), know what’s amazing about Kendrick? For Mother’s Day, I and every other mother I know wanted nothing more than a few hours to relax, whether that meant getting our nails done, quietly reading, taking a nap, or just being lazy. And I wouldn’t have blamed Kendrick at all if he had said, “Hey, it’s Father’s Day…would you mind if I just chilled out for a while and did my thing?” He deserves a break, and I was totally prepared to give him one.

But when I asked him what he wanted to do, he asked if we could go to the aquarium, because he likes it…but mostly because our son loves it.

And so that’s what we did. Meerkats and stingrays and turtles, oh my.

whiskeyandoak: one day, i will have a room like this in my...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 19:43:45 -0400

whiskeyandoak:

one day, i will have a room like this in my house and i’ll call it ‘the quiet room’ and there will be a window couch like this one with lots of big comfy cushions and it’ll be a small room with bookshelves covering every possible wall except where there’s a window behind the couch. there will be no noise allowed in the room. it is a room to read and relax and my children will be able to just come in there to read or have a nap.

yes please.

Must-Read

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 10:06:14 -0400

Must-read: This speech by high school senior Mitch Anderson, in which he comes outin front of his family and friends on his graduation day.

Standing On The Sun
By Mitch Anderson, Salutatorian
Belton High School Class of 2013
June 7, 2013

“Learning how to love and celebrate yourself is one of the most crucial and difficult aspects of life. To know who you truly are is the first step to enlightenment, to happiness. It sounds so facile, yet discovering and accepting who you are meant to be requires introspection and a willingness to submerge yourself into darkness. And that is what makes the task so daunting, so terrifying, if approached with complete authenticity. For the longest time, I was forced to live fractured, refusing to look at who I thought I was and then refusing to accept who I thought I might be. The journey into the soul is not for the faint of heart. Fear will naturally creep in, but those who use the fear to force themselves onward will succeed. After much dread and countless hours devoted to soul searching, for the first time, you will be able to love who you are.

But the task does not end there. If you know yourself, but incessantly crave an empty approval of others, you will be forever sorrowful. This is wherein the true challenge lies. As Madonna has said, “If your joy is derived from what society thinks of you, you’re always going to be disappointed.” You must be able to bare yourself to the world, and then let it be. You cannot be timid; you cannot be anxious. In a situation that seems so pyrrhic, you must evaluate what the costs and gains really are. You may think that hiding yourself is worth some superficial praise by society, or you can choose to learn that being who you are is vastly more important and rid yourself of those who cannot bring themselves to allow you to be you.

I myself am guilty of self-doubt, relying on others to give my life definition. But that time has passed, and I feel the moment has arrived for me to be publically true to my personal identity. So now, I can say, I’m gay. It is both a significant portion of who I am and an inconsequential aspect. It’s as natural and effortless to me as breathing. I couldn’t change myself even if I wanted, and believe me, I have.

I have been bullied a lot. I’ve been called unspeakable things and relegated to a place of lower class. I have been made to feel worthless, unneeded, a blight on the world. People have mocked me, said that I was virtually subhuman. So, for a while, I was in a very dark place. I had no concept of self-worth, and frequently pondered suicide. I became so dejected, that many times I thought of killing myself not just because I saw no point to life, but because I had been convinced that doing so would actually make the world better. And so, for many years, I continued the cyclical, destructive thought patterns. This happened both before and after I thought about my sexuality. And after I had realized I was gay, I hated myself. I wished and prayed endlessly that I could just go on with life normally, that I could be like everyone else. Being different felt like a curse, an unfair sentence to the life of an outcast.

There were moments when I believed I was next to nothing. But I learned that what others think of you is not nearly as meaningful as what you think of yourself. You cannot owe the quality of your existence to other people. You must evaluate your life and give it purpose. You must recognize that you are an expression of the divine, a being made perfect through celebration of your perceived imperfections.

Once you love yourself, you can be the best version of yourself. You will find success and happiness. You will find that being different is a wholly wonderful and joyous thing, because it will mark you for greatness. Wish not to be one of the million, but one in a million. Find your idiosyncrasies, find what will make you unique, and run with it. You will make far fewer mistakes if you allow your inner and truer feelings to guide you.

And when you feel like you will be abandoned, alienated, and cast out, ignore the sources of such toxicity. I believe Zachary Quinto put it best by saying, “If people don’t want to work with me because of my sexual orientation, then I have no interest in working with them to begin with.” This statement can be applied to any situation you encounter where someone is put off by your expressing yourself. Surround yourself with those who will be supportive of you, and remind yourself that you are beautiful in your own way.

The people who tear you down, who spit vitriol and ire, pity them. They lash out because they have intrinsic flaws that they refuse to face. They have unresolved deficiencies within that cause them to inflict harm on others. They have no external peace because internally there is a want of harmony.

The world could use a little bit more love. Let us all not be so quick to judge. We ought to be a bit kinder to others. Be not afraid of what you do not know, because more often than not, it’s probably incredibly similar to what you know. And when you disagree with someone, hate is not a form of love. Think for a moment about what damage your words would do before speaking.

I invite everyone to be more reflective, more meditative. I ask everyone to give themselves a good hard look and define what they like about themselves. I ask all of you to learn what it means to love yourself, if you haven’t already.

Please, embrace self-empowerment. You gain confidence, an unswerving belief that you matter and the ability of your existence to make an indelible mark on the world. You gain compassion and empathy. You will love and be loved. Most importantly, you will finally start living the life that you were always meant to live.

I would be remiss, however, if I failed to incorporate a Harry Potter reference to the theme of my speech, so I will. Be a Luna Lovegood, not a Pansy Parkinson. Be a little bit strange and off-kilter, and not so desperate to be popular. Strive for legitimacy, and skirt what makes you vapid. Find fellowship with everyone, not those you have preordained.

I have a few final, closing thoughts, before I turn over the podium. First, I find Zachary Quinto’s eyebrows very attractive. Second, I would like to be friends with Lady Gaga and Beyoncé Knowles-Carter. And third, I would like everyone to remember that “Starships were meant to fly, Hands up and touch the sky, Can’t stop ‘cause we’re so high, let’s do this one more time.”

militarysweetiesblog: https://www.facebook.com/greenelabelphotos...

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 20:07:15 -0400

militarysweetiesblog:

https://www.facebook.com/greenelabelphotos?fref=ts

love this!

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 20:05:46 -0400

love this!

Coming from Running Press in Spring 2014, with illustrations by...

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 10:26:00 -0400

Coming from Running Press in Spring 2014, with illustrations by PaperFashion.

!!!!!!!!

New style post: Hiking Gear (Not Really)

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 10:29:22 -0400

New style post: Hiking Gear (Not Really)

Our (three-minute) wedding video, just because.

Fri, 07 Jun 2013 10:37:46 -0400

Our (three-minute) wedding video, just because.

In the fall of my junior year, my roommate and I decided to have...

Fri, 07 Jun 2013 09:10:14 -0400

In the fall of my junior year, my roommate and I decided to have a little adventure.

Keep reading…

The Tenuousness Of Things

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 10:38:00 -0400

Yesterday morning, right after putting up this post, I received an email from a reader that rang so true that it had me in tears.

That’s it – and that’s it exactly. There have been times (long times, many times) in my life when I have felt so lost and so helpless to achieve anything close to what I felt that I was capable of achieving, and times (long times, many times) when I have felt so alone and have wanted so intensely to find love and my future family. And what is happening in my life now…it’s not that I feel like I don’t deserve it, exactly – I work hard, I think I’m good at the stuff that I do – but I also feel so grateful for it. I hate the word “blessed” – hate that it connotes some kind of specialness that makes you more deserving than anyone else, and that is most certainly not the case – so I’ll just call how I feel “lucky”. I feel so lucky right now.

And I also feel so aware every single second that it could go away.

I mean that: it feels like I could make one wrong move, and poof: gone. All of it. And that’s part of what’s been paralyzing me on RG lately when it comes to sharing actual emotions: I feel like I could say one stupid thing that I didn’t really mean, or write one stupid sentence because I didn’t sleep the night before and my head wasn’t working right, and I could lose you guys, lose my job, lose my house, lose my family, lose everything I’ve spent the past few years building.

I know that’s not true…or at least I think I do. But I am so scared of those missteps that when I feel them hovering over me, maybe possibly about to happen, they send me into a panic. The more good things happen, the more precarious it all feels.

Last night, you know, was one of those things – those exciting things that make me feel very grateful and lucky, and also make me terrified that I’ll stumble. TheDKNY collaboration is an exciting project for me; something I never in my wildest dreams could have imagined being a part of just three years ago. Getting to emcee and host these amazing events? I can hardly believe it. But the truth is that while I’m comfortable in front of a camera, speaking in front of large crowds…well, it scares me.

Take that Vegas event I did a few weeks ago: I spent a solid month before I stepped onto that stage having a low-grade panic attack pretty much 24/7. I worried that I’d say some dumb thing or stutter or blush or otherwise blow it, and there would be people there watching who would be angry or disappointed, or maybe would have hired me for a future project and now wouldn’t, and that moment would start my slow decline into losing it all, every last thing. And then I did it, and it went great…but the fact that it went great still didn’t take away the fear of the next time, the next chance to maybe do great, and maybe fall on my face.

But let me tell you what happened last night, because it was so cool: just before I went on stage I thought about that email that I excerpted above. I thought about whether the success of my life really hung in the balance at this one moment, standing there holding my microphone, and the answer was – of course – “no.” But “of course” isn’t always the easiest thing to realize.

Last night, though, this finally (finally!) hit home: things may be uncertain, but tenuous – balancing on the side of a cliff, about to topple at any moment? That, they are not. I stood there in front of the crowd, chatting about whatever, and I didn’t just feel “not anxious”…I felt awesome. Confident, and happy, and like I wanted to be – and, maybe even more importantly, deserved to be – exactly where I was. That was a pretty crazy thing to feel.

Here’s how the reader finished her email:

What I think I’m learning: sometimes, for whatever reason, you have to fight for your peace, and for me I think this might be one of those times. The baby steps that I’ve been making lately are good ones, but they don’t feel like enough. In my purse, I have the number of a cognitive-behavioral therapist – the insomnia specialist I visited a couple of weeks ago gave it to me, and of course I immediately tossed it into a tiny side pocket because there’s a big part of me that still believes that I should be able to just deal with this stuff without any help whatsoever – but that’s a number that I think I’m going to call.

Do I have time to go? No. Do I want to go? No.

But today. Today would be a good day to call.

I think I will.

The outfit I chose to co-host last night’s DKNY show at...

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 09:57:26 -0400

The outfit I chose to co-host last night’s DKNY show at Bloomingdales.

More shots here!

Eight hours or so after Kendrick took this pre-ceremony photo,...

Tue, 04 Jun 2013 10:33:00 -0400

Eight hours or so after Kendrick took this pre-ceremony photo, just so you’re aware, I strongly resembled a sweaty, be-flip-flopped cavewoman, thanks to the ocean air and my penchant for bounce-dancing to Carly Rae Jepsen songs.

But at the moment you see pictured here, I felt perfectly calm. Happy. Breezy, even.

Here’s the truth: lately, I’ve been having a little trouble getting my emotions under control. I feel silly for even saying that, considering all of the things that should make me feel not just happy, but great (family, job, home, pretty weather, caprese pasta in my refrigerator right this very moment). But even so: I can’t shake the anxiety that is still – still - keeping me up at night. All night, sometimes. Even in the daytime, one second I’ll be happy and rushing and doing…and then the next second it feels like there’s something impossibly large sitting on my chest, making it difficult to even breathe.

Why? Maybe the answer is as simple as the fact that things are just very busy right now, and busy is both something I love to be and something that sticks in my head, taking up all the room that I might want to use for small things like “sleep” or the ability to chill out for long enough to have a non goal-oriented conversation with the man I married. I’m also scared that all that busy will go away, and then I’ll be back where I used to be: adrift and not knowing what’s next or how I’ll get there. Rational? Maybe not. But real.

Also: busy is good, of course it is, but the busier things are the more juggling you have to do, and one of the things you have to juggle is your child (who takes him when and where and what time is the doctor’s appointment and how do I spend five extra minutes watching that sweet, excited face figure out “up” versus “down” and still make my train?), and that is both a reality of being a working parent and a shot straight in the heart. It just is. It is okay; I really do know that…but that doesn’t mean that it’s not something that yanks me out of sleep nearly every night just so that I can tiptoe into my son’s room and kiss his head one more time.

Is it okay to take a moment away to be with your husband – just the two of you – and kiss and dance and stay out too late like you did when you first met? Of course it is. It’s not just okay; it’s necessary. But still: sometimes my knowledge that it’s okay to work, it’s okay to spend time alone with my husband, it’s okay to put down the Must List and watch The Bachelorette just because I want to crashes up in my head against other things, like just how fast the days and weeks are moving and how very much I’d like this summer to go on forever.

Like I said in this post:

Maybe you’ve noticed that I haven’t been talking much about personal stuff lately, and this is why, I suppose. I feel anxious, and then the anxiety gets in the way of my ability to be one hundred percent on my game at every single moment of every single day, and then I feel guilty for that, and then the guilt makes me more anxious. Whee! And all of it feels kind of silly when the truth is that it seems to stem from the fact that things are good, and I’m just scared that they won’t go on that way forever. So I was trying to skip whining about it and work it out on my own before ever mentioning it here.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t appear to be working. Because another thing I feel anxious about is that I’ve been avoiding talking about what’s going on in my head, and I don’t like doing that. And that’s one small thing I can fix, so fixing it is the plan.

This is a good start, I think.

Tonight! You’re invited :)

Tue, 04 Jun 2013 10:03:48 -0400

Tonight! You’re invited :)

DKNY x Ramshackle Glam by Jordan Reid

Fri, 31 May 2013 13:42:02 -0400

DKNY x Ramshackle Glam by Jordan Reid

Green Chile Cheese Enchiladas

Thu, 30 May 2013 09:36:23 -0400

Green Chile Cheese Enchiladas

Black & White All Over

Wed, 29 May 2013 07:33:17 -0400

Black & White All Over

Lust Or Less: Perfect Sunglasses

Wed, 29 May 2013 07:08:47 -0400

Lust Or Less: Perfect Sunglasses

Easy Caprese Salad served in a stemless wine glass.

Tue, 28 May 2013 10:01:57 -0400

Easy Caprese Salad served in a stemless wine glass.